Every Wednesday morning some of our Des Moines area staff come together to pray.  Pictured above (after our prayer time) from right to left: Melanie Beath (our executive director), Karen Sieg (our volunteer coordinator for Amachi & Polk County Youth Services), Al Perez (a case manager for Second Chance) and Juliann Scearcy (a case manager for Second Chance and Prevention Through Mentoring).  We believe that prayer is absolutely vital to what we do as a ministry.

We would like to encourage you to pray with us by becoming a prayer partner by either signing up in the email sign-up form in the sidebar (be sure to check the prayer partner list option when you are taken to the subscribe page).  You can also text PRAYFORSOY to 22828 to sign up as well.  If you want to just email me at shane(at)serveouryouth.org and have “put me in the list” in your subject field I can get you signed up as well.

Also let us know how we can pray for you.  You can send your prayer requests to shane(at)serveouryouth.org or call me at (515) 321-5077.  You can also leave your prayer concern in the comments below as well.  We would count it a privilege to intercede on your behalf.

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Nearly half of 11- to 14-year-olds say they have been in a dating relationship, according to a 2008 survey of 1,043 tweens by Tru, a Chicago youth market-research firm, for Liz Claiborne. A larger share—60%—think parents should let middle-schoolers date, according to a recent online poll of 787 users by Yoursphere, a social-networking website for tweens and teens.

But "dating" in middle school doesn’t mean what many adults think. Tween couples talk mostly via text and chat. Their relationships are fleeting but all-consuming. They date in packs—but expect their boyfriends and girlfriends to be monogamous. And they keep their parents largely in the dark.

A disappointing finding that WSJ referenced from a study commissioned by Liz Claiborne is how many tweens say oral sex and intercourse are a part of tween relationships:

More than 1 in 4 tweens say oral sex and intercourse are part of tween relationships, the Liz Claiborne survey found. That doesn’t mean 1 in 4 tweens are engaging in those behaviors, however. Respondents were answering a question about dating behavior in general at that age, rather than their own conduct.

While I wouldn’t recommend tween dating, tweens as they enter puberty become increasingly more interested in the opposite sex.  Kara Powell of Fuller Youth Institute says that this can be a springboard for conversation with your tween:

• What do you like about this person?
• What concerns do you have about this person?
• What advice would you give a friend who was interested in this person?
• How does dating this person fit with what you think God’s picture for your life is?

So its good to stay engaged with our kids.  In the meantime I’ll keep my application handy.

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It was a real blessing to be a part of the  Real Men Conference last year.   I will be presenting Serve Our Youth Network and Mentoring again at this year’s conference.  The conference is on Friday, February 24 at 7:00p – 10:00p at Rising Sun Church of Christ.

The keynote speaker will be Pastor Mark Scott of Mountainview Community Christian Church in Highlands Ranch, CO.  He will challenge men to be mature in their faith and to pursue sexual purity.

My brief message will be that Real Men mentor.  All one has to do is look at the life of the Apostle Paul.  He had Timothy, Titus, Onesimus and countless others.  Who are you mentoring?

You can find out more information here and register here.  If you go be sure to stop and say hi at our table before the conference, during a break, or after the conference.

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Amachi Mentoring Training 6:00p-7:00p

This section of our training we’ll discuss common characteristics, themes and needs of children who have a parent in prison or who have been impacted by incarceration, and how we can best serve them.  We’ll also explain our Amachi Mentoring programs – our expectations and the matching process.  This will also include discussing common concerns with community-based mentoring.

Prevention Through Mentoring Training – 6:00p-7:00p (training for those interested in our Prevention Through Mentoring Program, held separately from Amachi training)  This training discusses how mentors can talk to their mentees about substance abuse, an update on the latest substance abuse issues, and how to spot warning signs that youth may be struggling with illicit substances.

Mentoring 101 – 7:00p-8:00p (this training is for all prospective mentors)

In this section of our training we discuss our roles in mentoring and qualities of successful mentors, SOY’s history and vision, our policies and procedures as they relate to our mentors, and how to best engage and support your mentee.

Second Chance Mentoring Training– 8:00p-9:00p (training for those interested in our Second Chance TEAMs Program).

In this section of our training we discuss juvenile system youth, understanding Iowa’s juvenile justice system, expectations and the matching process for Second Chance, how TEAMs will function and cover basics to facilitating groups (this is a group mentoring program).

To be a qualified mentor you need to complete Mentoring 101 and either the Amachi, Second Chance, or Prevention Through Mentoring training (depending on the program you want to be involved in).  This training is free and dinner will be provided.  To RSVP (please do so by Saturday, May 22nd) either call Shane Vander Hart at (515) 321-5077 or submit the form below.

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A Proclamation:

Whereas, Iowans serving from all walks of life as mentors to youth across the state has given their time, talents and energy to improve the lives of all youth; and

Whereas, Children and youth in mentoring programs greatly benefit from the guidance mentors offer; these programs help raise grades, self-confidence, motivation and school attendance; and

Whereas, Mentors are compassionate volunteers with broad areas of knowledge and expertise that serve as role models and build positive relationships with the young people of Iowa; and

Whereas, Mentors are doing their part in “Moving Iowa Forward” by helping our youngest Iowas become productive, caring and engaged adults with an unlimited future; and

Whereas, The Iowa Mentoring Partnership works to increase resources dedicated to mentoring, promote quality standards for mentoring programs, and expand mentoring opportunities tailored to the needs of all youth:

Now, Therefore, I, Terry E. Branstad, Governor of the State of Iowa, do hereby proclaim January, 2012 as

Mentoring Month

See the Scan of Proclamation down below:

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Are your teenagers at home getting enough sleep?  Mine do, but we have the advantage of homeschooling and being able to have a later start for the day.  Sleep is vital for kids for several reasons (the four points below are adapted from the YS blog post):

1. Health – “Imagine a cure-all that helps prevent cancer, weight gain and heart disease; one that can improve memory and athletic performance and even fend off colds. Now suppose that this panacea is pleasurable. It’s not a daily pill, painful injection or bizarre-tasting tonic.” – Patti Wolter of SELF magazine. It’s SLEEP!
2. Absorption – Studies have shown that a lack of sleep severely affects memory and attention span.  Do we want them to pay attention when they are at school, church, and when we as parents are talking to them?
3. Attitude – Are your teenagers giving you some attitude?  It doesn’t help when they’re crabby because they’re sleep deprived.
4. Safety – Do you have a teenager who drives?  Enough said.

It is recommended that teenagers get 9 1/4 hours of sleep a night (some only need 8 1/2 hours), one study showed that only 15% of teenagers get even 8 1/2 hours.

This can be a challenge with schools having such an early start time, but parents can help by making sure they’re not up past midnight.  Perhaps we also need to advocate for a later start time for school as well, but it’s easier to first see what we can do at home to make sure our kids are getting the rest they need.

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I’ll be honest my first impulse is shut my teenage child down because they’re being “disrespectful.”  Just the other night my wife warned me of this with our teenage son.

He was calm, and expressing his feelings.  I, well I wasn’t so calm.  A recent study conducted by Dr. Joseph P. Allen of the University of Virginia reminded me that some arguing can be a good thing.  NPR’s Health Blog explained the study’s findings:

“We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground,” he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners, friends and colleagues on the job.

Teens should be rewarded when arguing calmly and persuasively and not when they indulge in yelling, whining, threats or insults, he says.

In Allen’s study, 157 13-year-olds were videotaped describing their biggest disagreement with their parents. The most common arguments were over grades, chores, money and friends. The tape was then played for both parent and teen.

“Parents reacted in a whole variety of ways. Some of them laughed uncomfortably; some rolled their eyes; and a number of them dove right in and said, ‘OK, let’s talk about this,’” he says.

It was the parents who said wanted to talk who were on the right track, says Allen. “We found that what a teen learned in handling these kinds of disagreements with their parents was exactly what they took into their peer world,” with all its pressures to conform to risky behavior like drugs and alcohol.

Allen interviewed the teens again at ages 15 and 16. “The teens who learned to be calm and confident and persuasive with their parents acted the same way when they were with their peers,” he says. They were able to confidently disagree, saying ‘no’ when offered alcohol or drugs. In fact, they were 40 percent more likely to say ‘no’ than kids who didn’t argue with their parents.

So it’s all in the way they argue, but when they do we need to remember that they are developing critical thinking skills and a valuable life skill.  I’m going to have to remind myself of this the next time I find myself in an argument with my son.

HT: Jonathan McKee

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A PROCLAMATION

Every day, mentors help young Americans face the challenges of growing into adulthood.  By setting a positive example and sharing their time, knowledge, and experience, mentors play an essential role in preparing our Nation’s youth for a bright future.  During National Mentoring Month, we celebrate the contributions of all those who cultivate a supportive environment for the next generation, and we recommit to expanding mentorship opportunities across our country.

At school and at home, in the library and on the field, mentors lift our youth toward their goals and ambitions.  As a teacher, a relative, or a trusted friend, a mentor’s steady and dependable support can inspire a child to strive for success and instill in them the confidence to achieve their full potential.  Mentorship strengthens our American family, and by teaching enduring values like diligence and self-discipline, we make a powerful and lasting investment in our youth, our communities, and our Nation.

Across the Federal Government, we are working to ensure more young people have the opportunity to connect with a mentor.  Last January, we partnered with businesses across America to launch the Corporate Mentoring Challenge, which calls on corporations to begin or expand mentoring programs that pair children with positive role models, foster leadership skills, and put them on the path to success in school and beyond.  As part of our steadfast commitment to support our service members and their loved ones, we are funding new mentorship opportunities for children from military families.  And we are continuing to engage faith and community groups to help recruit mentors who can guide our youth in education, employment, and engaged citizenship.  For information and resources about mentoring opportunities, I encourage all Americans to visit: www.Serve.gov/Mentor.

By lending a hand and serving as a mentor, countless individuals have empowered young Americans with the confidence, inspiration, and tools to lead rich and fulfilling lives.  This month, I encourage adults to make an investment in our Nation’s future by helping a child discover the best in themselves.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim January 2012 as National Mentoring Month.  I call upon public officials, business and community leaders, educators, and Americans across the country to observe this month with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and programs.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty eighth day of December, in the year of our Lord two thousand eleven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-sixth.

BARACK OBAMA

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“Thanks for spending your New Year’s with us when you didn’t have to.  It shows a lot of humility and that you care.  Thank you.”

“Have a great 2012 GOD BLESS!  We really appreciated the things you gave us.  They make our days here just a little bit better.  Thank you for taking the time out of your holidays to do that.”

“Thank you for coming yesterday to spend your New Year’s Eve with us.  Thank you for the snacks and games.  It made my day better yesterday (this was written on Sunday).  I’ve never had fun in detention before.”

“Thanks for coming to see us on your New Year.  Thanks for all the candy that you came with and shared with us.  The game was fun too.”

Your church can host an activity like this as well.  Just contact Karen Sieg to set something up.

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Designed by a young man at the Polk County Juvenile Detention Center.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end,” (Isaiah 9:6-7a, ESV).

The staff at Serve Our Youth Network would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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