Ministering to Abusive Families

Interesing article at the Fuller Youth Institute by Dustin Perkins:

I had just finished speaking at a mountainside retreat when I got the call, and since my cell phone had no reception, my student’s tearful message went straight to voice mail: “I’m sorry Dustin, but I think I have to leave the country.  Thanks for all you have done for me.  Bye.”  When I returned home, I frantically dialed my student’s number over and over again, hoping to find out where he was and what was going on.  Once we connected, I found out that he was still at home — not leaving the country — and then the real news.  His father had been physically abusive.  His father had screamed, thrown full canned-goods at his wife and child, and brandished a large kitchen knife to show the seriousness of his verbal invitation to a bloody fight.  I wanted to help, but what could I do?

Youth ministry is so much more than just getting kids to show up to programs and events.  Youth pastors ultimately become family pastors, because reaching into students’ lives entails reaching into the place they spend a great deal of their time: with their families.  Our engagement with students’ family systems will inevitably lead us to witness both “the good” and “the bad” of their home lives, and sometimes even “the ugly” of family dynamics: abuse.  These situations call for skills and knowledge beyond the training of most youth pastors, but how we deal with abuse is incredibly important.  This article will attempt to uncover the cyclical nature of abuse, how that cycle distorts abused persons’ view of God, how pastors get caught up in the cycle, and make some suggestions about how youth workers can protect abused students without getting caught in the cycle themselves. (read the rest)

We highly encourage pastors, youth pastors, and SOY volunteers to read this article.